The Eye @

US Medical Insurance Explained

Posted in Uncategorized by eyebee on March 23, 2009

Q. What does HMO stand for?
A. This is actually a variation of the phrase “HEY MOE ” ; Its roots
go back to a concept pioneered by Moe of the Three Stooges, who
discovered that a patient could be made to forget the pain in his foot
if he was poked hard enough in the eye .
Q . I just joined an HMO .   How difficult will it be to choose the
doctor I want?
A. Just slightly more difficult than choosing your parents . Your
insurer will provide you with a book listing all the doctors in the
plan   The doctors basically fall into two categories: those who are
no longer accepting new patients, and those who will see you but are
no longer participating in the plan . But don’t worry, the remaining
doctor who is still in the plan and accepting new patients has an
office just a half-day’s drive away and a diploma from a third world
country .
Q. Do all diagnostic procedures require pre-certification?
A. No.  Only those you need.
Q. Can I get coverage for my preexisting conditions?
A. Certainly, as long as they don’t require any treatment
Q. What happens if I want to try alternative forms of medicine?
A. You’ll need to find alternative forms of payment .
Q My pharmacy plan only covers generic drugs, but I need the name
brand .  I tried the generic medication, but it gave me
a stomach ache  What should I do?
A. Poke yourself in the eye
Q. What if I’m away from home and I get sick ?
A . You really shouldn’t do that
Q. I think I need to see a specialist, but my doctor insists he can
handle my problem .   Can a general practitioner really
perform a heart transplant right in his/her office ?
A. Hard to say, but considering that all you’re risking is the $20
co-payment, there’s no harm in giving it a shot .
Q Will health care be different in the next decade ?
A. No, but if you call right now, you might get an appointment by then .

Posted via email from Eyebeemania


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