Archive Page 2
Charleston Beer Exchange News
This just in from CBX!
14 Exchange St.
Charleston, SC 29401
843.577.5446
www.thecharlestonbeerexchange.com
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Dear Tenant…
Date: Thursday 21 May 2009 10.16am
To: Helen Bailey
Subject: Pets in the building Dear Helen,
Thankyou for your letter concerning pets in my apartment. I understand that having dogs in the apartment is a violation of the agreement due to the comfort and wellbeing of my neighbours and I am currently soundproofing my apartment with egg cartons as I realise my dogs can cause quite a bit of noise. Especially during feeding time when I release live rabbits.
Regards, David. From: Helen Bailey
Date: Thursday 21 May 2009 11.18am
To: David Thorne
Subject: Re: Pets in the building Hello David
I have received your email and wish to remind you that the strata agreement states that no animals are allowed in the building regardless of if your apartment is soundproof. How many dogs do you have at the premises?
Helen From: David Thorne
Date: Thursday 21 May 2009 1.52pm
To: Helen Bailey
Subject: Re: Re: Pets in the building Dear Helen,
Currently I only have eight dogs but one is expecting puppies and I am very excited by this. I am hoping for a litter of at least ten as this is the number required to participate in dog sled racing. I have read every Jack London novel in preparation and have constructed my own sled from timber I borrowed from the construction site across the road during the night. I have devised a plan which I feel will ensure me taking first place in the next national dog sled championships. For the first year of the puppies life I intend to say the word mush then chase them violently around the apartment while yelling and hitting saucepan lids together. I have estimated that the soundproofing of my apartment should block out at least sixty percent of the noise and the dogs will learn to associate the word mush with great fear so when I yell it on race day, the panic and released adrenaline will spur them on to being winners. I am so confident of this being a foolproof plan that I intend to sell all my furniture the day before the race and bet the proceeds on coming first place.
Regards, David. From: Helen Bailey
Date: Friday 22 May 2009 9.43am
To: David Thorne
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Pets in the building David, I am unsure what to make of your email. Do you have pets in the apartment or not?
Helen From: David Thorne
Date: Friday 22 May 2009 11.27am
To: Helen Bailey
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Pets in the building Dear Helen,
No. I have a goldfish but due to the air conditioner in my apartment being stuck on a constant two degrees celcius, the water in its bowl is iced over and he has not moved for a while so I do not think he is capable of disturbing the neighbours. The ducks in the bathroom are not mine. The noise which my neighbours possibly mistook for a dog in the apartment is just the looping tape I have of dogs barking which I play at high volume while I am at work to deter potential burglars from breaking in and stealing my tupperware. I need it to keep food fresh. Once I ate leftover chinese that had been kept in an unsealed container and I experienced complete awareness. The next night I tried eating it again but only experienced chest pains and diarrhoea.
Regards, David. From: Helen Bailey
Date: Friday 22 May 2009 1.46pm
To: David Thorne
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Pets in the building Hello David
You cannot play sounds of dogs or any noise at a volume that disturbs others. I am sure you can appreciate that these rules are for the benefit of all residents of the building. Fish are fine. You cannot have ducks in the apartment though. If it was small birds that would be ok.
Helen From: David Thorne
Date: Friday 22 May 2009 2.18pm
To: Helen Bailey
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Pets in the building Dear Helen,
They are very small ducks.
Regards, David. From: Helen Bailey
Date: Friday 22 May 2009 4.06pm
To: David Thorne
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Pets in the building David, under section 4 of the strata residency agreement it states that you cannot have pets. You agreed to these rules when you signed the forms. These rules are set out to benefit everyone in the building including yourself. Do you have a telephone number I can call you on to discuss?
Helen From: David Thorne
Date: Friday 22 May 2009 5.02pm
To: Helen Bailey
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Pets in the building Dear Helen,
The ducks will no doubt be flying south for the winter soon so it will not be an issue. It is probably for the best as they are not getting along very well with my seventeen cats anyway. .
Regards, David. From: Helen Bailey
Date: Monday 25 May 2009 9.22am
To: David Thorne
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Pets in the building David, I am just going to write on the forms that we have investigated and you do not have any pets.
Helen
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Why Chocolate Is Better Than Sex
- You can GET chocolate.
- “If you love me you`ll swallow that” has real meaning with chocolate.
- Chocolate satisfies even when it has gone soft.
- You can safely have chocolate while you are driving.
- You can make chocolate last as long as you want it to.
- You can have chocolate even in front of your mother.
- If you bite the nuts too hard the chocolate won`t mind.
- Two people of the same sex can have chocolate without being called nasty names.
- The word “commitment” doesn`t scare off chocolate.
- You can have chocolate on top of your workbench/desk during working hours without upsetting your co-workers.
- You can ask a stranger for chocolate without getting your face slapped.
- You don`t get hairs in your mouth with chocolate.
- With chocolate there`s no need to fake it.
- Chocolate doesn`t make you pregnant.
- You can have chocolate at any time of the month.
- Good chocolate is easy to find.
- You can have as many kinds of chocolate as you can handle.
- You are never too young or too old for chocolate.
- When you have chocolate it does not keep your neighbors awake.
- With chocolate size doesn`t matter.
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West Virginia
P.S. I like your short yellow shorts and big shoes.
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November 3rd The Charleston Beer Exchange will be co-hosting a special collaborative beer dinner with COAST Brewing and Foothills Brewing at Shine on Upper King St!
This unique evening with the brewers/owners of both breweries collaborating on an amazing six course menu of pairings with their most special beers is sure to be unforgettable.
Call them now for reservations at (843) 577-5446. Space is limited to 30 people for this intimate evening. Reception begins at 6:30 with dinner seating at 7pm. Vegetarian option available by advance request. $75 per person plus tax/gratuity.
Posted via web from Boozemania
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Rare Beer Tuesday
14 Exchange St.
Charleston, SC 29401
843.577.5446
www.thecharlestonbeerexchange.com
Posted via web from Boozemania
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Sleepless in SC
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Tags: early hours, late night, sleeplessness
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This math test can predict your all time most watched film, mine was Saving Private Ryan. Try it without looking at the answers. It works!
Pick a number from 1 – 9.
Multiply by 3.
Add 3, then multiply by 3 again.
You will get your answer by adding the two digits together to find your all time favourite movie. Good Luck
It is:
1. Gone with the wind.
2. Aliens.
3. Oliver
4. Star Wars
5. Forrest Gump ..
6. Saving Private Ryan ..
7. Jaws.
8. Grease.
9. The joy of Anal Sex with male goats & leather clad gay boys.
10. Mary Poppins
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